


So Far, We Are (Safe In The Dark)

by theperkofbeingaloser



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Friends to Lovers, High School, Jealous Eddie Kaspbrak, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Richie Tozier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-26 06:47:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20925896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theperkofbeingaloser/pseuds/theperkofbeingaloser
Summary: It was weird, because Eddie hated being late, but he was never annoyed or uneasy when he was late with Richie. Richie supposed he thought of it as the price he had to pay for not having to walk to school, but Eddie didn't mind when they were late on their bikes or on their feet either. Eddie was never late on his own, but when it was Sonia who delayed him, or Bill? He would be fuming all day.But there, with Richie, he waited patiently for him to park and even once the engine was turned off he made no effort to get out of the car. Richie took a deep breath, as discreetly as possible, and found Eddie's eyes in the middle. "Oh dear! You'll have to excuse the delay, 'ol chap, traffic's crazy 'ere in Wiltshire!" Eddie crossed his arms, visibly amused. He was biting the inside of his cheek and his features looked stiff, in contrast to the softness of his gaze, as if he was trying hard not to laugh. It hurt Richie how beautiful he was, the pain went straight through his pores until it found his heart and pressed on it enough to make him believe that it would stop working in any given moment.





	So Far, We Are (Safe In The Dark)

**Author's Note:**

> hi hello i've been stuck writing a fanfic for like a year now and yet i wrote this in a matter of hours. ha. anyways, i'm happy to be back with more!!! 
> 
> rated M for language and a kinda steamy situation that, well, you'll see. if i say i'll spoil so i'd rather keep quiet. 
> 
> i feel like i rushed the end because i was very excited to finish this and post it so if you feel the same i'm sorry and i hope you can enjoy it anyway, rushed or not. i had a lot of fun writing this! it was also my first time for modern setting and i'm an old soul so i hope this is okay. 
> 
> enjoy! love you all.
> 
> (title from lana del rey's "teenage wasteland")

Eddie's mouth was hot and wet against his, kissing and demanding and simply taking him whole. Richie was delirious with want, his head was spinning so fast that the movement had become nauseous. His blood boiled and pumped into his veins, spreading the fire started in the pit of his stomach, making him burn to the tip of his fingers.

Richie felt like screaming, felt like crying. He couldn't believe what was happening, that it was finally happening. After years and years of looking, of pining, of yearning... after so many tortuous years of carrying his tortuous crush on his back, Eddie was his.  
He had no idea for how long and he didn't even want to think about it, what Richie had was that moment and he was going to make sure to take advantage of every delicious second.

Eddie moaned into the kiss, then, and Richie's crotch drained the blood that still remained in the rest of his body. "Rich," he murmured against his lips, his voice clumsy and unfocused. Richie _hmmed_ in response, using his hands to separate Eddie's knees so he could accommodate between his now open legs. "Richie."

"Yes?" He responded, panting, and not really paying attention; and when he leaned in to go for another kiss, Eddie stopped him with a hand on his chest. Richie frowned. "What's wrong, Eds?"

"Don't touch the other boys, Richie." It was like a punch to the stomach, those that leave you breathless and struggling for air. Something was not right. That was Eddie, undoubtedly, he was there, lying on Richie's pillows and looking at him so, so distant that he wasn't Eddie anymore. His gaze was insistent and dark, Richie's palms began to sweat so much that he didn't need to remove them from Eddie's thighs, they simply slid through them until they found the mattress. "Don't do it. Or they'll know your secret."

"Eddie," Richie said, weakly. "What- what are you talking about, babe?"

Suddenly everything went dark. Richie was sure that not even the biggest blackout could have brought so much darkness to one place. It was a darkness that you could not just observe, but you could also feel and breath. Richie's heart was beating so hard that it threatened to get out of his chest.

And then the light came back, but Eddie was no longer there. Instead, a horrid clown with a huge head and a distinctive devilish smile looked up at Richie expectantly.

Richie froze, his body paralyzed and his mind short-circuited. "Don't do it, Richie ..." The clown repeated, his smile becoming gigantic along with the limbs of his alienated body. When he stopped growing, he seemed to occupy the entire room. "Or Eddie will know your secret." 

Richie woke up, finally, startled and drenched in sweat. He ran to the bathroom on shaky legs and emptied his stomach in the toilet. 

Fucking hell.

What the fuck was that?

He had never been so scared in his life, his heart was far from calming down and the memory of the clown got him in a continuous shuddering. He closed his eyes, hugging the cold porcelain of the toilet as if his life depended on it, and took deep, paused breaths.

_One._ It was just a dream, Richie.

_Two._ You are fine, you are here now.

_Three._ This is real life, only real people can hurt you on this side. 

_Four. Five. Six._

_SevenEightNineTen._

When he opened his eyes, tears began to sprout from them. He cried until he was choking on his sobs, until their intensity made his body jerk forcefully. He cried so much that even without tears he continued to cry, wishing that was also a dream he could forget in the morning.

The rain fell incessantly outside, the wind was blowing so hard that it shook the windows. Richie was grateful for that, otherwise Maggie would have been able to hear him throw up and cry like an eight year old. How could he have explained it? 'Don't worry, mom, I only had a nightmare that combined my two worst fears: clowns, and my deep love for Eddie.' Maggie didn't even know he liked boys that way. Fuck, no one knew he liked boys that way, except for Stan and Mike. So, no, talking to his mother was not a possibility.

He slowly composed himself, and when kneeling on the bathroom floor became as absurd as it was uncomfortable, Richie returned to his bed. He looked at his phone on the nightstand, and with a sigh he stretched out to reach it. His eyelids burned from exhaustion, it was two in the morning after all, but he would have preferred to die rather than go back to sleep. Anguish squeezed his chest and made him wonder if he would ever sleep in peace again. Part of him knew he was exaggerating, but his heart wasn't so sure.

**Eds 1:14**  
okay i'm just finished with maths  
look at the time!!!!!  
i'm gonna be so tired tomorrow rip  
i wish i was a math genius like you i literally spent three hours just solving six exercises i'm so frustrated  
**Eds 1:15**  
and now i'm sending you a shitload of messages i'm sorry i hope i don't wake you up  
i'm shutting up now i'll see you tomorrow  
**Eds 1:16**  
actually today!!! see you in a few bye

Richie's heart skipped a beat, which was stupid, because he had spent the whole day texting Eddie, just like every other day. That fact could not stop, however, the tingling sensation that expanded inside of him each time the screen of his phone lit up with a message from Eddie, making him feel fourteen years old again. And the thing is that his current situation did not differ much from his situation at fourteen, the crush was the same and Richie dared to say that it got impossibly bigger.

His feelings were not going to disappear, he was sure of that now, and the guilt was eating him alive. He tried not to think about the dream when responding.

**Richie 2:09**  
be ready at 8 i'll pick u up  
it's my mom's day off so i'm borrowing her car 

**Eds 2:10**  
WHY ON EARTH are you awake?

**Richie 2:10**  
i could ask u the same thing cuddle bunny 

**Eds 2:11**  
don't you ever call me that again 

**Richie 2:11**  
k  
cutie pie 

**Eds 2:11**  
ugh  
i was thinking so hard i couldn't sleep

**Richie 2:12**  
about what

**Eds 2:12**  
just  
you know, life 

**Richie 2:13**  
not to be fake deep but have u ever thought about life so hard that u couldn't sleep ?

**Eds 2:13**  
asshole  
but yes, i have.  
anyways, what about you?  
are you insomniac again? :( 

Eddie wrote and deleted the last message about five times. Richie waited until the sixth "writing."

**Eds 2:15**  
if you are you can check out the sleeping playlist i made for you on spotify, i added new songs 

Richie had to bite his tongue in order to not scream.  


**Richie 2:15**  
oh my god  
aren't u the cutest little thing the world has ever seen ?

**Eds 2:16**  
shut it richie  
i'm not cute  
and especially not little  
**Eds 2:17**  
i'm just a great friend 

Ouch. 

**Richie 2:17**  
the greatest  
thank u cutie but i'm not insomniac i just had a creepy ass dream that i don't want to talk about 

**Eds 2:18**  
shoot  
okay  
we can talk about something else if you want 

**Richie 2:18**  
u should go to sleep eds  
it's really late  
or is it early ?  
**Richie 2:19**  
is the glass half empty or half full ?  
depends on how u look at it amirite 

**Eds 2:19**  
you used the wrong metaphor, dumbass  
it's half empty though 

**Richie 2:19**  
woo we don't want pessimism in this house spaghetti

**Eds 2:20**  
okay then i'll leave 

**Richie 2:20**  
NO  
how the fuck do i explain this to Terminator? 

**Eds 2:20**  
just tell your dachshund i grew tired of his owner

**Richie 2:21**  
why would u point out his brand like that  
and we both know that could never happen 

**Eds 2:21**  
shut up 

**Richie 2:22**  
go to sleep 

**Eds 2:22**  
i'll go when you do

**Richie 2:22**  
so now  
sleep tight sweet cheeks

There was nothing that Richie would have enjoyed more than spending the whole night talking to Eddie, but he was in love, and his brain could only think in terms of the welfare of his priority, which turned out to also be Eddie.

He opened Netflix, thinking that it was going to be a long four hours until he had to get up to go to school, and smiled when he got two new messages. 

**Eds 2:23**  
please take care rich  
good night <3

Richie felt nervous parked in front of Eddie's house, so nervous that it occurred to him that maybe attending classes was not a good idea. He had not slept at all, and the memory of his dream became even more vivid when Eddie's figure appeared under the threshold of his door. And, curiously, it wasn't the scary and traumatic part the problem, but what was happening in his bed a minute before Eddie transformed into a mutant clown. His whole face got hot. No, he couldn't face Eddie. But he couldn't leave now either.

"Hi," Eddie said once he was sitting in the passenger seat, fresh and moody, just like every morning. He was wearing a long lilac t-shirt and a pair of black shorts. Richie tried his best to not fix his gaze on Eddie's bare legs, his sun kissed skin and his curly-haired thighs could have honest to God killed him in that moment, and instead he focused on Eddie's face. That was even worse. "What?" He asked, frowning.

"What?" Richie imitated him, playful, forcing his voice so that it didn't sound as strangled as he felt. "No good morning kiss for the driver?"

"Shut up, Richie."

"Aw, Eds, don't be embarrassed." Richie cooed, starting the car and driving the way to hell. He was grateful the road needed his eyes, because otherwise he wouldn't have been able to divert them from Eddie's pretty face. "It's just a way to pay me for the ride. You're lucky I'm not asking for head yet."

Eddie groaned, but a sidelong glance was enough to confirm that he was fighting a smile. "God, you are insufferable."

"That'd be me."

"Could you sleep last night?"

"Yes, thanks to you and your playlist. I began to drift off to the sound of Ella's Lullaby," It wasn't something that surprised him at that point, how fast his brain processed and executed the lies. He was a seventeen year old boy in the closet, after all. All the stereotypes were equally attributable. "What about you? Did you rest?"

"Eh, I guess. Five hours is not enough, I'm tired."

"You should have thought about it before you stayed up until two in the morning thinking about life, master Edward."

"Can you please let that go?"

Richie hissed, pretending to think about it. "It'll be hard, but I promise I'll try."

When they arrived at the school parking lot, Richie did not have to check the time to know that they were late. There was not a single soul in the courtyard, not even the cliche groups of smoking buddies that were always running in late, which meant that the ultimatum had already been given.

It was weird, because Eddie hated being late, but he was never annoyed or uneasy when he was late with Richie. Richie supposed he thought of it as the price he had to pay for not having to walk to school, but Eddie didn't mind when they were late on their bikes or on their feet either. Eddie was never late on his own, but when it was Sonia who delayed him, or Bill? He would be fuming all day. 

But there, with Richie, he waited patiently for him to park and even once the engine was turned off he made no effort to get out of the car. Richie took a deep breath, as discreetly as possible, and found Eddie's eyes in the middle. "Oh dear! You'll have to excuse the delay, 'ol chap, traffic's crazy 'ere in Wiltshire!" Eddie crossed his arms, visibly amused. He was biting the inside of his cheek and his features looked stiff, in contrast to the softness of his gaze, as if he was trying hard to not laugh. It hurt Richie how beautiful he was, the pain went straight through his pores until it found his heart and pressed on it enough to make him believe that it would stop working in any given moment. Richie's voice faltered, forcing him to drop the accent. "It's twenty bucks."

Eddie scoffed. "Twenty? I would have given you the good morning kiss instead." 

"It must be your lucky day because you're still on time, lover boy."

And Eddie went for it. Eddie simply measured Richie with his eyes, and then closed the distance between them to deposit the world's sweetest kiss on Richie's cheek. It was a good thing that he practically bolted out of the car after doing so, because Richie had a stroke.

He sat in the car for only God knows how long, debating whether that kiss gave him a will to live or ruined his life completely. Richie used to be an expert of ignoring his feelings for Eddie when he interacted with him, but after that damn dream he seemed to have completely lost the ability, and it was driving him insane. He needed to go back to his old self, his yesterday self, if he wanted to survive his crush. People would certainly notice, Eddie would notice, and then he would have to confess and apologize and forget about him for good. 

Shit.

Why he was suddenly feeling so much?

Richie banged his head against the steering wheel, counted to ten for the second time in the day, and got out of the car as if he hadn't been thinking about the easiest and least painful way to die.

It was a hot day, even for that early in the morning. It was the time of the year when his ridiculous floral shirts and colored pants made a comeback, and that was great, but he hadn't implemented it yet, so he was stuck in a simple black t-shirt that he put inside his jeans just because Eddie liked it that way. He was sweating even though he arrived just a couple of minutes ago.

"Yo, Tozier," A voice stopped him in the hallway. It was from Christof, as in, Christof Arrowood. Rich Christoff, hot Christoff, basic Christoff, why-the-hell-is-he-talking-to-me-Christoff. Richie somehow produced a smile. "How's it going?"

"Late for History, what about you?"

"I'm having a party this Friday at my house, my parents will be away for the weekend ..." Christof tightened and loosened the straps of his backpack insistently. "And when I told Ce-Ce, you know, my friend with platinum hair? You guys have Algebra together." Richie nodded, having no clue about where that conversation was going. He would have missed half of the class by the time he showed up in the classroom, but it wasn't as if he was dying to talk about Napoleon Bonaparte's life. "Anyway, I told her about the party and she asked me to invite you. So, you should come. Alone, or with Ce-Ce ..." Christof held his gaze, and Richie felt like there was something he should know, some kind of information that Christof clearly had and naively hoped that Richie had too. "So, what do you say?"

"Sure, my friends can tag along right?"

Suddenly Christof looked uncomfortable. "I don't know, man. Your group is pretty big, can't you just come with Ce-Ce instead?" Richie frowned, why would he go with Ce-Ce? She was cool and all but the only words they exchanged were hello and goodbye. Besides, she had her own group, Christof's group, and was very unlikely to ditch her friends to attend a party with Richie, of all people. Christof sighed, bringing him back to reality. "You know what? Why don't you come with your friend Bill?"

"Eh-"

"He's single, right? Tammy, _Ce-Ce's best friend, _ has the hots for him." Richie blinked. Was this guy really choosing his guests based on his friends' sexual preferences? "Come with him! Bring alcohol."

"Yeah, okay, I'll talk to Bill." Richie was definitely not talking to Bill. 

"Cool. See you on Friday, Tozier."

And, with a little too strong slap on his back, he was out of Richie's sight.

Thank God for that.

He ran to History, but the professor decided he was way too late and didn't let him in, so he had no choice but to wait in the cafeteria until his next class. It was Geometry, Richie kicked ass in Geometry. He entered the room sparkling with energy and Stan groaned at the sight of him.

"Good morning to you too, Staniel. Always a pleasure to see you."

"Why you didn't make it to History, Rich?" Ben asked once he was sat down on his place.

The desk next to his was empty, which meant Eddie hadn't arrived yet. Neither Bev and Mike, but, you know. Priorities. 

"Ugh, don't make me go there. The weirdest thing happened. And with Christof motherfucking Arrowood." 

That got Stan's attention, who incorporated on his desk. "What happened?"

"Who is that?" Bill asked, wrinkling his nose.

"Some idiot from the Basketball team." Stan replied.

"Oh, yeah," Ben nodded, as if the answer had been directed to him. "What did he do?"

"Who did what, now?" Bev asked, appearing from out of nowhere with Eddie and Mike by her side. Eddie's features already bore his characteristic interrogative countenance, and he looked for Richie's eyes as if they contained all the answers in the world. Richie felt his heart stop. "Well? Why is everyone so silent?" 

"Because it's Richie's story, we don't know anything." Stan replied, sounding bored.

The three newcomers settled down in their respective places. Eddie's eyes still didn't leave Richie's.

"Well, I was walking down the hallway when I was stopped by the one and only Christof Arrowood-"

"Who?"

Stan groaned, but schooled his voice to answer Mike's question as softly as he could. Evidence said that it was something he only did for Mike. "Just a guy from the Basketball team."

"So," Richie continued. "He stopped me to invite me to his party this Friday."

"Aren't those parties, like, private or something?" Bev asked, frowning. "Why did he invite you if you guys don't even talk?"

"He told me that Ce-Ce asked him to invite me."

"Ce-Ce as in," Eddie said for the first time in the conversation. "Algebra Ce-Ce?"

"Yeah," Eddie didn't move a muscle, didn't even blink. Richie turned his attention to Stan instead, firstly because he seemed to be the most committed in knowing the outcome of the story, and secondly because eye contact with Eddie had been upgraded to torture practice. "Anyway. I said 'sure, can I bring my friends with me?' and he said our group was too big. And then he was, like, 'can't you go with Ce-Ce instead?'"

"He said that?"

It was Eddie again, this time his voice sounded more insistent than before. Richie met his gaze and was suddenly aware of the silence that had fallen on the seven. It felt almost uncomfortable, as if it was loaded with tension. Eddie's face remained expressionless. "Uh, yes? What's the big deal?"

"You really don't know?" Eddie asked, sharp. Something was wrong, something was definitely wrong and the feeling of disorientation reminded him of his dream. Richie didn't want to blink, because he feared Eddie would become the damn clown as soon as he closed his eyes. "Are you really that dumb?"

"Eddie," Ben intervened, looking worried. "You don't have to treat him like that." 

"What? Are you my father now?"

"Can anyone explain to me what the fuck is going on?"

"Nothing, Bill." Ben responded quickly. "Eddie is just having a bad day." 

"Fuck off, Ben. I'm just pointing out the obvious."

"Oh yes? And what's obvious to you, Eds?" Richie asked, apparently out of his transe. He had no idea why Eddie was being like this, and it hurt Richie to the damn core that he was directing his frustration towards him. Eddie never directed his frustration towards him. He tried to look him in the eye, but Eddie was shamelessly ignoring him. "I was just telling a random story because it featured Bill at the end and you got angry for no apparent reason. What's the matter? Are you offended because you weren't invited to the party?" 

Eddie stopped ignoring him, then. His eyes were dark and colder than ever, he looked exactly like the Eddie of his dream. A chill ran down Richie's spine. "Right, because I'm dying to go to that party full of idiotic, drunk and hormonal teenagers and have to wait until you're done banging _Ce-Ce_ to call it a night." 

And, like, what?

What in the living hell?

What the fuck was Eddie talking about?

The tension was bigger than ever, anyone could have cut it with just the edge of their nails. Richie had to swallow his response, because the professor entered the room and asked for silence.

His mind was a disaster, he tried to pay attention to the class to stop thinking but that only led him to more thinking. He couldn't understand why Eddie was so upset with him. It wasn't for Ce-Ce, that option was discarded. Why would Eddie get mad at Richie for hooking up with a girl? Of course, if Eddie hooked up with someone Richie was sure he wouldn't stand it, he would have to get away from Eddie or literally take his own life. But they were not in the same situation.

Like, Richie was in love with Eddie. And Eddie was not in love with Richie. So that meant that Richie had done something stupid without realizing, and Eddie was now furious with him and looking for any excuse to fight.

His train of thoughts was interrupted by Eddie getting up from his desk and excusing himself to leave the classroom. He didn't even wait for the professor to give him an answer, he just stepped out as noisy as his feet allowed him and subtly slammed the door behind him. Eddie was fuming. Richie was screwed.

The professor took advantage of the distraction to cut with the theoretical class, asking them to continue with the practical class in the exercise book. Richie turned around immediately, meeting Ben's pale face.

"What the hell was that?"

"Rich ..."

"No, Ben, what the hell was that? What did I do?"

"Nothing!" 

"That's bullshit."

"No, I swear, it's just ..." Ben sighed. "Look-"

"Christof invited you to his party to hook you up with Ce-Ce, Rich." Stan interrupted, spelling each word slowly, like he was explaining the rule of three to a second grader.

And, yes, maybe he was dumb for not realizing Christof's intentions. But that was what happened when something did not interest him: he simply did not pay attention and did not realize until someone pointed it out. Like now.

Ce-Ce's apparent interest in him couldn't interest him less, sue him.

"Right, so?"

"Rich," Ben said. "Why don't you go find Eddie and ask him yourself?" 

Richie looked at the rest of his friends, waiting for their approval, and they all nodded almost at the same time. He sighed and got up from his desk, his heartbeat echoing in his ears. They were right, only Eddie knew what was happening. And Ben, probably, but he didn't seem willing to share the information with him.

He didn't have to find Eddie, though, because he already knew where he was.

He saw Eddie before Eddie saw him, sitting on the asphalt, his eyes closed and his head leaning against one of the back doors of Richie's car. Well, of his mother's car. They cried together in that exact position once, a couple of years ago when Henry Bowers chased them down across what it felt the entirety of Derry and Richie's house was the closest shelter. They didn't even make it to the front door, they just collapsed on the garage floor and cried, hidden behind the car so Maggie wouldn't see them. And now, seeing Eddie so lonely, so vulnerable, so sad… it was shattering Richie's heart. It was destroying him, the knowledge that he was the reason of Eddie's suffering.

"Hey," Richie murmured, his voice soft, and took a sit next to Eddie on the floor. Eddie didn't move, didn't even bother to open his eyes. "Listen. I don't know what I did. I just know you're upset and it's very likely that I did something stupid without realizing. And, like. I want you to yell at me, okay? Take it all out, but ..." He inhaled deeply, swallowing the urge to cry. "But please, _please_ don't be sad. It feels as if I'm going to die."

Eddie opened his eyes at that, and their beautiful amber was shining with tears. Richie's throat constricted until it hurt.

"Do you like Ce-Ce?"

Richie blinked, taken aback. "What?"

"Richie, do you like Ce-Ce?" Eddie repeated, settling himself on his knees and crossing his arms over his stomach. _Cute, cute, cute. _"Answer me."

"I… no, Eddie, what the hell? Of course I don't like Ce-Ce, what gave you the impression that I liked her?" Eddie remained silent, calm. It was Richie's turn to go crazy. "And besides, how the fuck has this anything to do with you being mad at me? What's your problem?"

Eddie laughed. Like, pretty hard. The residue of tears in his eyes rolled down his cheeks with the force of his laughter. It was definitely not what Richie was expecting. "Oh my God, have you lost your mind?"

And, as if confirming his suspicion, Eddie began to cry, with the same intensity with which he had laughed only seconds ago. Richie was perplexed, he had never felt so lost in his life. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know if he had to comfort Eddie, if he had to wait for him to calm down, if he had to call the school nurse...

Luckily, Eddie saved him from deciding. He threw himself into Richie's arms, sobbing inconsolably in his chest. "You're going to hate me, Rich."

Richie moved fast, wrapping his arms around Eddie and pressing him tightly against his body. The smell of green apples of Eddie's shampoo mixed with his cologne, and Richie would be in ecstasy if he wasn't so worried. "Eds, I could never-"

"Yes, you will, and I deserve it. I swear I know I deserve it, but, but-" Eddie hiccuped, and Richie tangled his long fingers in the soft curls of his hair in a way he hoped was more soothing than it was messy. Richie felt so nervous he could throw up, Eddie hadn't had an asthma attack since they were kids and Richie recognized all the symptoms in him now. "B-But…"

Richie shushed him. "Please, Eddie, just breathe. In and out. Everything will be fine, okay? I'm here, I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

Eddie nodded against his chest, wrinkling pieces of Richie's shirt in trembling fists. He recovered, little by little, until the only trace of crying were the spasms that attacked his body, and the fabric of Richie's shirt soaked in his tears. Richie let out a sigh he didn't know for how long he had been holding, his left hand stroking Eddie's scalp and his right hand stroking the length of Eddie's spine.

They remained in that position for what could have been five minutes or two hours. Time had stopped around and for them.

Slowly, Eddie raised his head to look at Richie. Richie smiled sadly and wiped the tears from Eddie's cheeks with his thumbs. Eddie looked down, then, and whispered. "I love you, Richie. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Richie felt like he was dreaming, Richie feared that he was dreaming. Eddie began to cry again, his gaze fixed on his hands trembling on his lap. "I'm sorry. I can't take it, I can't pretend anymore."

And the thing is, Richie was not good with words. He never had been. That was the reason why he was crazy about maths and thinking about literature gave him chills.

That was the reason why he gestured so much while he was talking, because he felt that his voice was not enough to communicate.

That was the reason why he had composed hundreds of melodies and still couldn't write a fucking verse.

_You know, you talk a lot for someone who never says anything._ Stan accused him once, the wise Stan, tired of Richie not putting words to his feelings. He ended up doing it that night, though, and confessed to his best friend his obsessive feelings for his other best friend.

Richie took Eddie's hands in his, drawing his gaze. He didn't meet his curious eyes, not yet, and looked closely at their joined hands instead. His were big, a lot bigger than Eddie's. In fact, they looked like giant compared to Eddie's. Richie's rough palms were softened by delicate palms, contrasting once more.

In that moment, Richie was convinced that everything about them was meant to be. "I love you, Eddie. I love you so much it hurts."

When their eyes met again, Eddie's had new tears, only this time they responded to the beautiful smile that lit up his beautiful face. Man, did Richie want to make fun of him. He wanted to ask him how someone so small could cry so much without drowning himself in the act. 

But he wanted to kiss him way more, so, and without further ado, he closed the distance between their mouths and tasted Eddie's salty teared lips for the first and certainly not the last time.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are always appreciated ♥️


End file.
